gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
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