Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
