I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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