hell yes lets make some ravioli
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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