Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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