why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
