once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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