U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
