So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize