That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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