This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
