Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Randomize
