Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
