Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
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Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
What drink are we having for lunch?
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
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Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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