Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
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