It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
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