I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
