apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I don't deserve a penis
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Randomize
