We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
It's just like the Real World with babies
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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