Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
