I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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