I feel like I'm in dance class right now
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
