I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
