Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
