you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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