Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
