did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
