seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I deserve this hangover.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
