Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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