If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
