Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
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