I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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