I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
