Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
3 2 1 whiskey
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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