Just cropdusted the office
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
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