but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
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