you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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