I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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