Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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