i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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