At least make sure they are 18
Why
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
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