its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
