idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
My balls are so social today.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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