just come out here and I will go home with you...
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
