She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
