hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
