Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
