Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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