Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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