butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
how can u be prego again
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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