Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
