She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
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