If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
