I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
then he tried to convert me to islam
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
