Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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