Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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