I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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