Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Randomize
