You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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