Are we in a gay sports bar?
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
