I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
