We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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