Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
