I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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