I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
