she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
It's rum buckets o'clock
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Randomize
